With Melinda

Single mum lifestyle blogger

Romance author

 

Snow is softly falling, the fire is quietly crackling and there is a glass of wine on the side of the kitchen for you. A romantic scene, right? Ready for the perfect tall, strong, handsome man to come striding into. So many of us love this time of year and are ready to be dating at Christmas. But is it a good time of the year to start dating and will you be finding love when you least expect it?

The short answer is that there is no one perfect time of the year to start dating. Could you put it in as one of your New Year’s Resolutions? Of course you could. Should you wait until the heat of the summer sun tans your skin? Definitely not. Dating should begin again whenever your heart, body and mind tell you that you are ready. And if that is at Christmas time, then go for it.

What does your ideal Christmas look like? Mine is either on a beach sipping a cold drink or wrapped up next to a roaring fire. But both images in my head have a man next to me. This man now has a face but in years past, his face has been a shadow. All I knew was that my heart liked the idea of a partner to share this joyful time with.

How to find love at Christmas

Christmas movies, if to be believed are the best time of year to find our perfect partner. All we need to do is find a house swap in another country, then fall in love with our hostess’s brother (helps if he is as dashing as in the films of course). In reality, not many of us will do this so we need to look at more realistic options.

finding love when you least expect it

Christmas work party

Again, we can look to movies here for an example. Bridget Jones is a classic. Although probably more of an example of what not to do! It’s best to not get involved with someone who already has a girlfriend or wife. If the man is willing to cheat on her, what’s to stop him doing it to you? Who wants complications or heartache at Christmas time?

But joking aside, a Christmas work party can be a great way to talk to and meet new people. It can also be a way of finding love when you least expect it. Would you have ever guessed that Alan from accounts was also into ski-ing and cocktail bars? Or that Sam in HR loved murder mystery weekends? Just remember two golden rules. Do not get drunk and do not go home with anyone. Think upon it as a great opportunity to get dressed up and meet more of your work colleagues. And if one of them turns out to be far more interesting than you previously thought then that’s fantastic.

Back in time

Many of us go back to our roots at Christmas time. We get packed up and travel back for a few days to the parents home. During which time we meet up with old friends that still live locally. This is often a time when we could bump into a boyfriend from our teenage years or someone you had a crush on at school. This is a great opportunity for romance to blossom. Make sure you pack some nice clothes to wear out to the local pub. No point in wasting a potential opportunity.

Advance New Years Resolutions

Why do we have to leave the resolutions until the new year? There’s nothing saying that we can’t make a resolution in December and also start it then. December is often a busy month and a good time to resolve to be more open to dating opportunities. We are often relaxed at this time of year, more sociable and it is a great time to meet someone new. So make a vow for the month of December to be more open to possibilities and to finding love when you least expect it.

Dating sites

Within your resolutions, you could include ‘joining a dating site’. Whether you’ve never joined one before or have had several experiences on them, you never know. Your next encounter might be where you meet your next love. There are definitely plenty to choose from. This might be the time when you get serious about it and pay for one. Dating at Christmas time can be a lot of fun. View it as an opportunity to go somewhere new and meet someone different at a festive time of year. Don’t put pressure on yourself, just see it as being sociable and having a romantic Christmas.

Volunteer

Christmas is a time of giving, isn’t it? This doesn’t just apply to presents though. This time of year is a great time to help others. Whether it is at the local shelter on Christmas Eve or day or whether you dress up as an elf and greet families, it is all still caring about the community. And, as well as playing your part, you are also meeting similarly altruistic people. And who knows, Santa may just be your future husband! It would make a good dinner story, wouldn’t it?

finding love when you least expect it

No pressure to love

Christmas can sometimes be a lonely time. We see happy families and friends all around us, going to events and parties together. The absence of a partner, of an arm to hold onto as you walk into another Christmas party can be felt more strongly at this time of year and not everyone wants to be single at Christmas.

Even if you are looking for love, remember that you are a strong woman. Remind yourself of your journey and that all you achieved since becoming single. That although you may want a partner, you do not need one. In order to have a successful relationship, you need to be confident in your own self-worth. If you are not quite there, maybe December can be your month to learn more about yourself. Buy yourself a help-book or two, write yourself some personal affirmations and look forward to getting to know yourself. After all, we can’t date successfully until we love ourselves.

As we are coming up to the holidays, take this time to reflect. Not only on presents and your resolutions but also on your personal life. There is no perfect time to start dating so once you are happy and confident in yourself, go for it. At the worst, you’ll have a bad date. At the best, you’ll find your soul partner. After all, you never know if you’ll be finding love when you least expect it.